Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
