man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
