Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
