his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
