Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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