Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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