Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
