ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
