dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
