So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
