so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
