sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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