I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
