then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
