He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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