You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
