I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
3 2 1 whiskey
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
