Just mADE A PArabola og urine
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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