Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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