Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize