is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
