you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
