I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
