He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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