Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
