i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so that wasnt chicken after all
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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