We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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