Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
