i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He felt like a one man threesome
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize