yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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