i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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