I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
