He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need to calm my uterus...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
