You're so nebulous sometimes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
