I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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