He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
