I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
