plz talk dirty to me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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