would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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