So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You're like the curious george of whores
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
