I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Barsexuality is the new black.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
