I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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