If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
