The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I had to cum in my sink.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
