I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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