I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
