I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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