girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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