its not stalking. its research.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
