i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
