break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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