I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
did i just pee glitter
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