why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
