Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
