We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
