lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
third nipple confirmed
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
