The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
